how can i be extremely hungry
and then eat something
and then feel disgusting.
it shouldn’t work that way?
guess it was too good to be true. my mother says we can’t afford it, and a scholarship isn’t even worth applying for. i don’t know if that means we’re not poor enough or i’m not good enough. either way, that sort of blows. i mean, well i got it in my head that this could happen. i even emailed my art teacher. i guess i should take the poster off my wall now. maybe i’ll do something else. i really need a job. i don’t know. this is a big let down. i was sort of really looking forward to getting my pieces together and applying. my mom shot it down so fast. that’s what hit me. she didn’t even say we could try.
i’m being ridiculous. i’m going to france for 2000 this spring. i shouldn’t want so many things, so many pricey things. or, rather, i shouldn’t even begin to believe they can all happen. this, this smfa summer program just seemed out of this world. i mean, if i got a job and worked a lot and got money from my grand parents and asked the art department to help me out i bet i could do it. but i’m probably not even good enough to get in.
this is a big let down. i shouldn’t even have been up in the first place. it’s really cold right now. i’m just really disappointed. not even being able to try.
this place was so amazing. much too good to be true.
you’re being silly chloe. if you want it that bad then you can work for the next two years and be able to do it. some things take time. i’d wait until after your junior year anyway.
on flickr
if i wore tights under shorts to school would people not understand?
you are making me cry.
Posted November 30, 2009 at 8:39pm
i’m writing a fairy tale in french about a little princess who lives with rabbits.
….
i didn’t get your text.
— i say bull shit.
Posted November 28, 2009 at 1:37pm
